


You think you're hot shit (I love it)

by mkhhhx



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alcohol, Attempt at Humor, Background Relationships, College, M/M, Partying, Pining, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, since they are all students
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-06
Updated: 2020-06-06
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:29:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24573085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mkhhhx/pseuds/mkhhhx
Summary: And you’ll be asking, what is Jung Jaehyun, third year literature major and campus heartthrob doing in his free time if not breaking people’s hearts left and right?Donghyuck knows very well.Because Jung Fucking Jaehyun (J.F.J.) is currently on their couch, shirtless, playing FIFA with Donghyuck’s brother and Lee Taeyong.
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Lee Donghyuck | Haechan
Comments: 24
Kudos: 465





	You think you're hot shit (I love it)

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Cobra Starship's "Hot Mess"

Maybe it’s wrong to have a crush the size of the whole universe on his brother’s best friend, maybe…but Donghyuck can’t help it. He has tried, he really did. He went to dates, he got all handsy with Jeno on various occasions, even kissed Mark in the middle of some truth or dare game. He can’t make it go away, the silly, honestly dumb and pointless crush that had first appeared on his 16th birthday party and now, four years later, is still present, ever-growing and looming at the dark corners in the back of Donghyuck’s mind.

Jaehyun himself doesn’t help at all. He’s not cold and distant as he could easily be, being a good few years older and actually not even Donghyuck’s friend. But no, Jung Jaehyun is an all around perfect human being and if Donghyuck hadn’t squeezed his cheeks and poked his dimples, rosy and warm, he’d be convinced the older is a sculpture that somehow came to life. Or a robot programmed to be the perfect boyfriend. The good news is that, as far as Donghyuck is aware, Jaehyun isn’t dating anyone. The bad news is that Jaehyun isn’t dating Donghyuck either and probably will never ever even consider it.

And you’ll be asking, what is Jung Jaehyun, third year literature major and campus heartthrob doing in his free time if not breaking people’s hearts left and right? Donghyuck knows very well. Because Jung Fucking Jaehyun (J.F.J.) is currently on their couch, shirtless (god forbid, he’s ripped, as if Donghyuck’s suffering wasn’t enough already) playing FIFA with Donghyuck’s brother and Lee Taeyong, the campus assigned twink and sweetheart.

Donghyuck, still sufficiently dressed unlike his hyungs (who are all shirtless but he’s not gonna focus at his brother or Taeyong who’s taken) is sitting on an armchair by the window, begging any available deity to send a breeze his way because with every moment spent in the same room as Jaehyun he feels himself overheating.

“Hyuckie” a soft voice (which was screaming profanities to pixelated players a moment ago) calls and Donghyuck snaps out of his haze to meet Taeyong’s impossibly big and round eyes, “beers”. And nobody can say no to Taeyong because he actually possesses dark magic, even though all Donghyuck sees when he talks is unicorns farting rainbows.

“Sure” he says, more compliant than he would usually be because a) standing in front of the open fridge door will be the highlight of his day along with ogling at Jaehyun and b) he could really use some alcohol, even if it’s still midday and usually he doesn’t even drink casually. He has reached his maximum intake of Jaehyun for the day, for the week actually, and needs a distraction which might or might not stop him from getting a semi in his own living room in broad daylight.

This whole setting, shirtless boys drinking beers on the couch and all, isn’t actually a rare occurrence, but rather an almost daily one. It’s summer, it’s the holidays, Donghyuck’s parents both work until late afternoon and Taeyong and Jaehyun don’t want to stay in their shitty dorm rooms and broil, so they pretty much invite themselves, showing up sometime in the morning with bags full of food and beverages.

Donghyuck isn’t usually there at the same room with them. He has his own hobbies and friends, thank you very much. But today Jeno is out with his not-boyfriend Jaemin cycling or doing whatever not-gay things they do, Mark is with his frat bros, Renjun is helping his mum take their dogs to the groomer and his room is way too hot to just stay there and play videogames. Or daydream about Jaehyun.

At some point, while drinking his third beer, he realizes he has made a mistake. Maybe that’s the suffering he deserves for all the sins he has committed, like making fun of Jeno’s cats, tying his brother’s shoelaces together every day for a week when they were in middle school and making the “and they were both bottoms” joke when he first met Taeyong’s boyfriend. This is the torture he shall endure. Sitting there on the fucking armchair, sweating his body weight off, watching as Jaehyun is getting progressively tipsy with his chest glistening, droplets running down to his happy trail and his mouth running happily about something Donghyuck’s mind can’t register to save his life. Yep, he’s definitely sporting a semi.

He holds his ground, a pillow on his lap and clammy fingers occupied tapping messages and scrolling on his phone. There are still hours left until his parents will be back. Jeno and Jaemin aren’t answering and Donghyuck would bet good money they’re currently lovingly making out at some river bank. There is nobody available to save him so he stays there, unmoving, pretending he doesn’t exist, convincing himself he can’t see. And if his eyes meet Jaehyun’s once or twice and he can almost spot a smirk on his hyung’s face he brushes it off as incidental. Jaehyun wouldn’t flirt with him. Why would he, anyway.

He doesn’t know it yet, but it’s on that day. The moment Donghyuck’s sanity is about to get thrown out of the window happens right there, in their beer-stinking living room. Jaehyun is obviously tipsy, a happy drunk that Donghyuck has seen too many times before. The game is paused, Taeyong taking a piss or whatever and Doyoung sprawled on the couch, bloated and possibly regretting his beer intake.

“Don’t you wanna play, Hyuckie?” Jaehyun asks and Donghyuck takes a moment too long to realize it’s the real Jaehyun and not the one constantly living in his head. He freezes, because yes, the pillow is still in his lap. Doyoung lifts his head and watches him and Donghyuck knows that any droplet of blood not manning his lower body has evacuated to his ears.

“Hyung will be back and there isn’t any more space on the couch” he says, not very intelligently, fully aware his voice sounds like a chicken being strangled.

And then, Jung Jaehyun, in all of his tipsy, sweaty, semi-naked glory does it. He lifts his hands, palms facing down. And then, Donghyuck’s breath catches on his throat, as Jaehyun pats his thighs, his incredible, muscular thighs, once, twice, thrice and then lets his hands fall on his lap.

“You can sit here” Jaehyun says and this time, while mumbling some excuse to shut himself in his room, Donghyuck is sure Jaehyun is smirking.

It plays out all through the summer. Donghyuck’s elaborate and very vivid wet dream, that is. The other option is that the heat is really getting to Jaehyun. There is of course the third option, the one that includes Jaehyun being vaguely interested in Donghyuck in a non-platonic way, which is not an option because it’s just not a reasonable scenario.

“How did you know you were straight?” He asks his brother one afternoon after invading his room solely to irritate him, their parents watching some movie downstairs.

“I figured I wasn’t attracted to guys.” Doyoung answers, watering flowers around his Animal Crossing town.

“How did you figure out you weren’t attracted to guys?” Donghyuck pushes, taking a stray solved Rubik’s cube off a shelf just to mess it up.

“Sucked Jungwoo off at a library bathroom stall before a midterm in second year.” Doyoung replies, voice completely flat.

“I didn’t actually need to know that.” Donghyuck thinks of all the times Jungwoo has slept on their couch. Sweet, dear Jungwoo hyung who always brings them handfuls of chocolate when visiting and even keeps some at his university backpack. Donghyuck decides to completely ignore the info his brother just gave him and never think about it ever again.

“You asked,” Doyoung pushes his glasses higher on his nose, “why did you ask?”

“Just because.” Donghyuck shrugs.

He’s not really sure what he’s trying to achieve. He just saw Doyoung on Jaehyun’s lap the other day, both laughing about something. And he wonders how Doyoung is different than him, IF Doyoung is different than him. What if Jaehyun doesn’t even think that much about it and offers his free real estate of a lap to the masses like the generous angel he is? Donghyuck decides to investigate all possible scenarios.

It’s a Monday. A not-so-quiet morning as there’s a gaming session going on in the living room and Donghyuck gets woken up by someone -Xuxi- screaming something about his player dying. He gets up, groggy and dehydrated and grumpy -in all the bad ways someone wakes up at summer after gaming until sunrise- and drags himself downstairs to assess the situation and get breakfast. Xuxi and Taeil have been added to the usual trio and a series of “MORNING HYUCKIE” greets him when they notice him sneaking into the kitchen for some cereal.

He pretty much walks around on autopilot, drowning a yawn as he steps between the couch and his now usual armchair to peek at the screen and make fun of whoever is losing. He notices Jaehyun on the armchair too late. Jaehyun’s hand on his waist dragging him close even later.

“Sorry I took over your space” Jaehyun says into his ear, in that low husky voice and Donghyuck thinks that maybe he wants to explode into a million overwhelmed and horny pieces. “I’m comfy though”.

Donghyuck has to try very hard to not choke on his cereal, although Doyoung took that first aid course in university and probably won’t let him die. Probably. He is aware of every muscle on his body, rigid on top of Jaehyun who’s talking with the others like there isn’t a whole Donghyuck sitting on him. At least Jaehyun is wearing a shirt and thus, Donghyuck gets to live another day.

It becomes a common occurrence and Donghyuck doesn’t know when they crossed a line, what that line is or where it is drawn. Donghyuck always enjoyed skinship and apparently, Jaehyun seems to be that kind of guy too. Donghyuck would give up every chair in the whole wide world to be able to sit on Jaehyun’s lap 24/7.

The first time was awkward, the second and third maybe a little weird, but it seems like Jaehyun was investing in their future and Donghyuck eventually relaxes, going limp like a kitten the moment Jaehyun drags him close. Although relaxed might not be the correct term, because he’s anything but that. He feels Jaehyun’s legs firm under him and Jaehyun’s chest and he can smell his aftershave and Donghyuck would just turn around ready to play tongue war if there weren’t another two to five people in the room at all times.

Instead, he tries to push his luck and see where it can get him. It does seem like Jaehyun enjoys playing games. Because Donghyuck will get comfortable right where he knows Jaehyun can feel him and Jaehyun will let a little pleased sound and play with Donghyuck’s hair. And then Donghyuck will rub back on Jaehyun’s chest, subtly enough to not raise questions, but boldly enough for Jaehyun to understand. And Jaehyun just grins and holds Donghyuck’s waist, keeping him down.

And at some point Donghyuck realizes that Jaehyun knows, there’s no way Jaehyun doesn’t, or isn’t doing this on purpose. He knows Donghyuck is about to fall on his knees every time their eyes meet and he knows why Donghyuck keeps the baby blue pillow on his lap. He knows and he is enjoying it. Donghyuck decides that Jung Jaehyun is nothing but a cold blooded sadist and he’s out to get him.

Without classes or responsibilities or anything to structure his day around his mind becomes a mess of Jaehyun. Nineteen year old Jaehyun at Donghyuck’s party, telling a very drunk and very eager Donghyuck “maybe when you’re old enough we can talk about it again” and kissing his cheek. Jaehyun in the kitchen after a sleepover, making omelets only in his patterned boxers. Jaehyun pulling his pants up exiting a bedroom at some party Donghyuck begged Doyoung so bad to go to.

He wonders how long Jaehyun knew about the way Donghyuck looks at him. He wonders if Jaehyun ever thinks about him too. He moans Jaehyun’s name into his pillow and for some minutes, the questions and what ifs stop flooding his mess of a mind.

“Do you ever feel the need to get chocked by a strong pair of calves?” Donghyuck asks, still deep in his thoughts as Jaemin spits out his vanilla ice cream.

“I mean, yes?” Jaemin croaks, “I too, am just a weak gay.”

Jeno stares at him and Donghyuck wishes they would stop with the bedroom eyes but he supposes he’s the one that started it.

“Is this about Jaehyun hyung?” Jeno asks cautiously, like it’s a game of hot potato.

“Of course this is about Jaehyun hyung” Jaemin exhales, “Just ask him out or something already.”

“And he’ll say no and then I’ll cry so hard I’ll get dehydrated and die.” Despite the new developments, Donghyuck doesn’t think Jaehyun Likes him. Not like that. They play around. Touches linger, words are left unsaid and maybe the best he can get sometime is a few hours alone with Jaehyun and nothing more. Life’s unfair but beggars can’t be choosers.

“What if he says yes?” Jeno pokes Donghyuck’s shoulder with his nose, “You’ll never know if you don’t try and staying at this weird situation is just gonna wear you out eventually.”

“I hate that you are right” Donghyuck admits, “but if he says yes I’ll die on the spot from a heart attack.”

“You’re so dramatic” Jaemin laughs and clings on his not-boyfriend. Donghyuck wishes he could have that too. Hang from Jaehyun’s big frame and nuzzle on his neck and maybe, just maybe, smooch a little or a lot.

“I just want him to-“

“We do not need the details, Donghyuck.” Jeno slaps a hand on his mouth.

“Fine.” Donghyuck admits defeat and gets back to sulking around his ice cream, pretending he does not see Jaemin licking Jeno’s spoon.

When they have established soft lap dances as casual, Jaehyun brings out his other strong weapon, one that is being talked about in university parties and in the girls’ locker rooms and in hushed whispers when he enters the classrooms. Donghyuck knows, because everyone knows, Jung Jaehyun is a huge flirt.

Donghyuck has been on the giving and receiving ends of a fair amount of flirting. He has talked people into coming back home with him and he has made boys blush at the cafeteria between their classes. But it’s different with Jaehyun. His brain completely shuts down and he forgets how to breathe and his knees get weak. He swears Jaehyun comes around even more than before, just to make Donghyuck’s whole being feel like jello.

Still, sometimes he manages to mutter a decent answer when he’s not freaking out over Jaehyun openly flirting with him. He also keeps a track of their best flirting moments, just to replay them in his mind before sleep and screech into his pillow.

These include: the morning Donghyuck was shuffling around the kitchen and Jaehyun appeared out of thin air, leaning at the doorframe and asking if Donghyuck “comes around often” and despite the disgusting greasiness Donghyuck’s immediate response was a semi and almost opening his mouth to beg Jaehyun to bend him on the counter even if there were three more people in the house. Then that afternoon they were at the yard, drinking beers sitting on the grass and Jaehyun winked and lifted his head, baring his neck, his pretty, biteable neck and downed all of his been in one go, licking his lips and saying “wish that were you”. And of course, all of the times they were at their usual armchair and Jaehyun adjusted a bit until Donghyuck could feel him and then asked “comfy?” with that stupid grin Donghyuck wanted to kiss off (and then bruise his knees on the carpet).

Doyoung knows what’s going on. Donghyuck knows he knows because his brother has been trying to open up conversation for days and then chickening out of it. Saying vague stuff like “haha nothing wrong with liking someone Hyuckie” and “always use protection!” while panickily leaving condoms on Donghyuck’s desk. It’s honestly entertaining so Donghyuck just lets him do his brotherly duties, even though he is stocked with condoms (his size and not his brother’s, awkward) and also lube to last him for weeks. This is for how long he’s gonna be riding Jaehyun after Donghyuck manages to get his hands on him.

“Hey” he tells Doyoung on morning they’re somehow alone in the house and Doyoung is brewing his fancy coffee, “did you ever have your hands tied?” Without the distraction of Jaehyun in close proximity making his brother uncomfortable is the second best thing to occupy himself with.

“Last year for April’s fools Johnny and Ten shibari-ed me when I was sleeping and didn’t untie me for four hours after waking up” Doyoung cocks his brow. He wins this round. “Short answer is yes.”

“Unbelievable. I cannot believe you’re so wild and I’m sure I don’t even know half of it.” Donghyuck did have a good social life. Lots of parties, lots of people and drinks and bad decisions. But his seemingly (to everyone else) timid brother keeps surprising him.

“You don’t” Doyoung grins. “And you never will.”

“Imagine if mum and dad knew.” Donghyuck says. Once he got back home so drunk he fell asleep at the hall hugging the shoe rack, so he’s sure their parents have a vague idea of what’s going on.

“As if they don’t” Doyoung laughs, “well not the specifics, that would be scarring.”

“Still shocked about Jungwoo, though” Donghyuck comments and his brother rolls his eyes to another dimension.

“We don’t talk about that.” Doyoung opens his phone to show Donghyuck his calendar app, “what we should talk about is mum and dad going on a three days road trip and us having the house to ourselves.”

Donghyuck can’t wait to get wasted and maybe suck someone in the bathroom. A very specific someone.

He goes all out for the party. His friends will be there, Doyoung’s friends will be there and obviously, Jaehyun will be there. Donghyuck does his make-up and hopes it’ll be totally ruined by the end of the night. He picks his thottiest available outfit, a black pair of jeans with more holes than fabric and a thin, almost transparent, button down that he wears with more open buttons than not. Thin black choker on his neck and glowstick bracelets complete the image and hopefully he’ll convey to Jaehyun he wants to bang until the death of the universe.

When he finally graces the main party area downstairs with his presence some people are already lounging around swaying to music and nursing drinks, but nothing too wild yet, except for maybe that one couple he doesn’t even know making out against a wall. Looking at the clock above the fireplace he estimates they have at least three to four good hours to go off until the old shits of neighbors they have call the police.

He makes small talk with some of Doyoung’s friends, dances around to get into the rhythm and pours himself the first drink of the night. Highlights include Taeyong coming with his boyfriend, Baekhyun, in matching bubblegum hair and Jungwoo attempting what must be his second chance with Doyoung (and failing). Xuxi and Ten get in charge of the decks until Johnny arrives and soon enough Donghyuck is starting to get pleasantly buzzed.

And then, Jaehyun arrives. Donghyuck stops grinding on Jeno and just stares, until someone (Renjun?) shoves him to Jaehyun’s general direction. Donghyuck’s need to just suck some J.F.J. dick even in the middle of that fucking room is so strong that at this point he starts to seriously consider having a nasty combination of an oral fixation with exhibitionism.

Jaehyun looks ridiculously good. The kind of good mortals shouldn’t be allowed to. His light brown hair is pushed back and he’s wearing that extra tight pair of pants Donghyuck has only seen once before and a generic colorful sleeveless shirt that Donghyuck makes his life goal to personally throw on the floor by the end of the night.

Jaehyun doesn’t spot him at first, but they find each other on the makeshift dancefloor later on and he feels feverish with Jaehyun’s hands all over his body. They are both good dancers and easily fall into a lewd rhythm of moving against each other, Donghyuck’s own hands getting daring, palming over Jaehyun’s stomach and then a little lower as Jaehyun pulls him close, two hands squeezing Donghyuck’s ass in the best way possible.

And then, somehow they get separated only to keep stumbling upon each other. They almost make out against the kitchen counter, Jaehyun’s breath warm on his lips but Mark finds the worst possible moment to collapse next to them and they have to carry him outside to get some air.

Then, as the night progresses and everyone is peak drunk, Donghyuck spots Jaehyun again, this time flat on the dining table, shirt pulled under his armpits and people doing body shots off his abs. Donghyuck pushes the itch of jealousy -all those people touching what’s rightfully his- away and gets closer, waits to find an opening and splays his hand on Jaehyun’s chest, letting him know he’s there and about to take a tequila shot off of his stomach. His mind short circuits and instead of lowering his body Donghyuck lifts the little shot glass. He takes a look at Jaehyun, disinterested in everyone else around them. He pours the shot down with a smirk and then bends, keeping eye contact while he licks the alcohol off Jaehyun’s happy trail. Jung Jaehyun moaning so loud it could be heard even with the loud music will be a good party story to tell.

And somehow, it’s the early hours of the morning and Donghyuck hasn’t yet gotten fucked to oblivion and feels himself getting slow. People have started leaving and he is sitting at the sticky floor, playing truth or dare with about a dozen people. Jaehyun is there too, drinking from Donghyuck’s dad’s wine stash since they are out of vodka, but so far nothing interesting has happened. Ten gave a lap dance to Mark, Jungwoo admitted to still having a crush on Doyoung, Xuxi is sitting only in his very tight and very revealing underwear and Jaehyun twerked.

And then it’s Jeno’s turn and the bottle stops on Donghyuck, who obviously picks dare because most of the people around him already know pretty much every spicy and embarrassing detail of his life. Jeno would never do him dirty.

“Get Jaehyun hyung and do seven minutes in heaven in your room’s closet.” Jeno smiles, this wonderful, wide smile. Donghyuck wants to kiss his hands in appreciation. Jaemin just got pushed down his best friend list.

“They can’t!” Mark complains, “that’s like a whole different game!”

By the time Jaemin tells Mark to “read the room and shut the fuck up” Jaehyun is already up and dragging Donghyuck upstairs.

Donghyuck unlocks his room (wouldn’t leave it unlocked to fall prey to other horny young adults) and pushes Jaehyun inside fueled by pure need. He thinks the tent in his pants is now just a natural reaction to Jaehyun’s face.

Somehow they actually make it to the closet, although the bed is there and very inviting. Soon Jaehyun is groping his ass and they’re close, so close. It’s not a good time to be romantic and slow and anything of the short so Donghyuck doesn’t know who leans in first, but Jaehyun’s tongue is in his mouth and Jaehyun’s hands are under his shirt and someone is moaning and it’s so dark and hot and Donghyuck does what he has been fantasizing about while getting himself off for years.

The wood of the closet is hard on his knees, but he’d kneel on needles to do the very same thing he’s doing in that moment, unzipping Jaehyun’s pants only to find he’s not wearing any underwear and he’s half-hard and heavy in Donghyuck’s palm.

“Hyuckie?” Jaehyun moans above him, fingers playing with Donghyuck’s dirty blond strands. He picks up his pace until this same hand is pulling on his hair and Jaehyun’s legs are trembling.

It doesn’t take long, both of them eager, tired and in the weird state of sobering up and Jaehyun’s sounds are even better than Donghyuck had imagined, low and rumbly and still honey-like, his hips stuttering and Donghyuck licking him until he sounds like it borderline hurts.

“Let me” Jaehyun says between kisses, “let me” he palms Donghyuck through his pants and Donghyuck just slides down the side of the closed, letting Jaehyun pull his pants off and take care of him.

Nobody looks for them and the seven minutes stretch until Donghyuck and Jaehyun are on the bed, sloppily kissing, clothes and sheets ruined and gross in every way possible and Donghyuck thinks he just had the two most fulfilling and intense orgasms on his life. He’s high in post-orgasm bliss and the aftermath of all the drinking and on Jaehyun’s kisses when he whispers “take me out on a date Jung Jaehyun” and when Jaehyun bites his lip he adds “and then to your shitty dorm bed to make out until all your neighbors know your name”.

And Jaehyun, that wonder of a human that is both an angel and satan himself just says a little “sure” before he pulls Donghyuck on him. But it’s more than enough and Donghyuck never thought he’d make it that far.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


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